Dad Starting Over Podcast

In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially help his ex-wife receive the necessary treatment and become a healthier individual for the sake of their kids. It's a complex situation that requires empathy and a willingness to put the past aside.The DSO Fraternity

In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and the need for compromise, this episode offers valuable advice for couples navigating intimacy issues.

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality and using this experience to create a new and fulfilling chapter in life.

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider calling it quits.

Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes that it's normal to still have lingering feelings but advises saying no and focusing on what's best for the children.

In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.

In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of being with an avoidant person.

Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience.In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues. Thank you, J, for all that you do for us! Book time with Coach J: https://dadstartingover.com/coaching/jasonJoin our DSO Fraternity and get big discounts on coaching and A LOT more: https://dsofraternity.com

In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion on the dynamics of modern relationships and the need for mutual support.Key Takeaways:Men often feel forgotten and sidelined in a partnership after children are born, which can spark negative reactions, particularly from women.The common critique from women retorts that if men were more involved in childcare and household duties, they wouldn't feel marginalized.The host challenges this critique, noting that many men are already significantly involved in domestic roles and responsibilities.Discussions highlight the importance of par

In this episode, DSO addresses a listener's concerns about their wife's suspicious behavior. From late-night phone use to financial infidelity, the signs are troubling. DSO advises the listener to prioritize their safety and consult with an attorney before making any decisions. The episode explores the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking action to protect oneself. With a focus on self-reflection and seeking professional help, DSO offers guidance on navigating a difficult situation.Key Takeaways:Financial and potential emotional infidelity can be grounds for ending a relationship even in the absence of physical cheating.Secretive behavior and drastic changes in routine or attitude may be indicative of deeper issues within a partnership.It's crucial to prioritize personal safety and well-being in the face of an unstable partner who exhibits rage and potentially harmful behavior.Consulting with an attorney can be a proactive step towards understanding one's rights and options in a troubled ma

In this episode, DSO addresses a common concern: how to explain a difficult divorce without resorting to labeling an ex as "crazy." He advises being open and honest about the challenges faced, without hiding the truth or trying to win favor. By sharing the reality of the situation, potential partners can make an informed decision. DSO emphasizes the importance of transparency and authenticity, even if it means potentially scaring away some people. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating post-divorce relationships.Key Takeaways:It's crucial to be honest about past relationships without using stigmatizing or dismissive language like "my ex was crazy."When speaking about contentious divorces and personality disorders, focus on being transparent about the situation while maintaining integrity.The truth of personal experiences is fundamental and should not be compromised for the sake of others' perceptions.There is strength in vulnerability and honesty, and it's okay if some people are not comfortable with you

In this episode, DSO delves into the topic of retroactive jealousy, addressing the insecurities and discomfort that can arise when a partner has had previous sexual encounters. He explores the dynamics of past promiscuity and the feelings of inadequacy that can arise when comparing oneself to a partner's previous experiences. DSO offers empathy and validation to those struggling with these emotions, emphasizing that their feelings are valid and not indicative of weakness. A thought-provoking discussion on navigating the complexities of past relationships and sexual histories.Key Takeaways:Retroactive jealousy can significantly impact one's perception of relationship dynamics, particularly concerning a partner's sexual history.Jealousy in this context may stem from notions of sexual conquest, effort, and reward within human mating rituals, paralleling disparate investment levels towards achieving intimacy.A person's past sexual explorations can be both a source of insecurity and growth in current relationships

DSO comes face to face with a conundrum that plagues many married individuals – the struggle for consistent, fulfilling intimacy. The host addresses a listener's question concerning the frequency and nature of intimacy within marriage, offering his insights on the complexities of physical and emotional connections. With raw candor and a touch of humor, DSO delves into the nuanced challenges of igniting passion in a relationship marred by a disparity in sexual desires.The listener, adopting the moniker "Conan the Barbarian," reveals his endeavors in boosting physical fitness and providing romantic gestures, yet finds himself unsatisfied with the sporadic sexual encounters and hand jobs offered by his wife. DSO emphasizes the importance of understanding that attraction and intimacy encompass more than just physical appearance, hinting at possible deeper issues within the marriage. The episode addresses the dangers of communication breakdowns and the impact of emotional rifts on intimacy, urging listeners to exp

DSO tackles a sensitive and commonly encountered issue in many marriages: the dynamics of sexual desire and satisfaction. Delve into Daniel's story, a listener who, despite having worked on improving his relationship and experiencing an uptick in bedroom activity, is grappling with the feeling that his wife's participation may not stem from genuine desire.DSO, with his blend of straightforward advice and empathetic insight, dissects the complexity behind the listener's concerns, pointing out the multifaceted nature of sexual desire and the psychological impetus driving our expectations. He addresses the delicate balance between increased frequency and the authenticity of sexual encounters within a marriage. Through real-life examples and an understanding of human sexual behaviour, DSO provides a nuanced overview of why, even with positive changes, some men, like Daniel, yearn for a more spontaneous and voracious sexual connection.Key Takeaways:Sexual desire within a marriage can be complicated, affected by ch

I had the pleasure of sitting down for a nice chat with Carla Crivaro from the UK. From her website at carlacrivaro.com:"I started out as a sexually repressed, stay at home mother and wife with chronic anxiety, low self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities in all relationships from working to familial to romantic. I went on to experience a 'sexual awakening' which took me on a path of self-discovery. I consensually dabbled in play parties and dating while still married to my then husband and we have since transitioned into a co-parenting partnership.​I have learnt to ask for what I want in relationships, state my boundaries and maintain them and I continue to learn and grow. I'm now in a monogamous 'living together apart' relationship with my partner in what is considered a 'Power Couple' relationship."Carla and I chatted about one of her favorite subjects to tackle: The Forgotten Father.

DSO addresses a message from a listener who is experiencing a disparity in libido with his postmenopausal wife. The listener explains that his wife's libido has significantly decreased since entering menopause, while his own libido remains high. DSO discusses the complexities of menopause and its impact on women's libido and explores the listener's concerns about his wife's past sexual experiences and her lack of desire for sex. Additionally, DSO offers empathy and understanding to the listener, acknowledging the challenges of being in a relationship with mismatched libidos and suggests exploring therapy and potential hormone replacement therapy as possible solutions.Some key takeaways from the episode are:Menopause can significantly decrease a woman's libido, which can create a disparity in desire between partners.The listener's wife's past sexual experiences should not be a factor in their current sexual relationship.Alcohol can sometimes help reduce anxiety and increase desire in postmenopausal women.Open

In this episode, DSO responds to a letter from Nate, who is feeling drained and frustrated in his marriage. After a long military career, Nate has come to realize that his wife is lazy, unambitious, and constantly negative. He has recently started focusing on self-love and personal growth, but his wife's behavior is wearing him down mentally. DSO offers two options for Nate: either his wife needs to join him in his positive mindset and make an effort to improve the relationship, or Nate may need to consider moving on to a new chapter in his life without her.Key Takeaways:Military deployments can cause couples to grow apart, especially if one partner struggles to cope with the challenges of being left behind.Hyperachieving individuals often thrive as entrepreneurs and may struggle in traditional employment settings.Discarding negative influences from your life can lead to significant improvements in mental and physical health, as well as personal and professional success.Quotes:"You're Mr. Winner, and you're l

DSO discusses the statistic that married people have more sex than single people, and whether this means that single individuals should get married to improve their sex lives. He examines the reality of sex in marriages by looking at survey data, which shows that a significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships. DSO also explores the societal benefits of marriage and how it can serve as a solution for men who are not having any sexual encounters or causing chaos in society. However, he emphasizes that marriage is not for everyone and that the idea of a hypersexual and fulfilling sex life in marriage is not applicable to the majority of couples.Key Takeaways:Statistically, married people have more sex than single people, but this does not mean that single individuals should rush into marriage for the sake of their sex lives.A significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships, where they have infrequent or unsatisfying sex.Marriage serves a societal purpose

In this episode, DSO responds to a question from a listener named John Rambo, who is feeling anxious about his wife attending a bachelorette party in Vegas. John has been with his wife for almost 13 years and they have three children together. He describes his wife as beautiful and trustworthy, but he still has concerns about the party and worries about potential infidelity. DSO explores two possible explanations for John's anxiety: insecurity and a gut feeling that something is not right. He encourages John to examine his own behavior and communication patterns in the relationship, as well as his level of trust and security. DSO also suggests that John and his wife set clear boundaries and communicate openly about their concerns and expectations.Key Takeaways:Insecurity and anxious behavior can create tension in a relationship and lead to feelings of mistrust.Open communication and setting clear boundaries can help alleviate anxiety and build trust in a relationship.Trusting your partner and having a sense o