Help Me Be Me



Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, author/podcaster/relationship coach, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. I think they'll work for you, too. For all the tools I offer, check out YayWithMe.comWhat I share is my personal opinion and not a diagnosis for treatment. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1.Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.comPrevious intro music by***Hey listeners! I am currently on maternity leave until January 1st 2018! New episodes will be posted as I'm able. xo***


  • Ep 221: Redefining Yourself - Shedding Older Selves

    12/04/2024 Duração: 46min

    We all grow, mature and become different people, however sometimes we cannot see that change or those around us cannot see it. This is about redefining yourself to yourself. Allowing room to witness yourself, anew. Especially in the face of people who treat us based off an old identity. This episode has exercises to help you see where you are headed and mark the change you’ve made over the past year. It’s also for examining your actions as a means to map out your internal allegiances. Often we cannot see how we truly feel because we get lost in the day-to-day content of powerful or repetitive emotions. The goal for me coming out of this episode is for you to feel as if you were given a new awareness of yourself. One that is positive, clear, and empowered. And that you can see the conscious change you have made in your life.   If you want to know who you are, just look at your physical actions. They are a map to our truth: what we believe, what we are working on, and also how we feel about ourselves. They tell

  • Ep 220: Remembering Yourself – Trust + Positivity Exercises

    28/03/2024 Duração: 45min

    Think of this episode as a memory to be conjured. A memory of the truth of yourself: your power and goodness, and that you feel more present on the ride that is your life. It’s easy to live out a perspective fixated on what you haven’t done right or what is just out of reach. To reduce life to transactions versus a felt sense of magic. This episode is kind of “hippy” in that it’s got some guided imageries. Reason being, a lot of us don’t see the greatness in ourselves unless we are given a powerful mirror. Someone who has witnessed the path we have walked and all that we have grown to become. Often it takes an experience with this kind of person or getting outside of our bubble, to jog this deeper memory of self. A compliment from the right person has the power to inspire us and move us. Through these glimpses, we see a different truth and a more positive version of the world. I wanted to try some visualizations with you today that tap into that knowing, deliberately. Unless we curate a deeper perspective of

  • Ep 219: Designing a Supportive Life – Living from Love

    13/03/2024 Duração: 58min

    This is about having a loving mindset as we move through our life. What does that mean? It means feeling complete and having an inner sense of safety. From here we do not feel lack when we interact with others. Nothing is “at us” and even when someone does mean us harm, it does not land. This is the energetic state where we can be the most effective, creative, wise. So really the question becomes – how do we deliberately CURATE this state in our lives? I have some tuning exercises for this in particular as well as some reflection exercises. When we can embody love and kindness, we can light up the world, we can create limitlessly, we can see all potential. In this episode, I’m going to be talking about these two things that seem in opposition: coming from an energy of wholeness and fullness–tuning yourself to that. And then also shoring up what I call the holes in the boat, or checking what might need boundary work in your life. In other words, making sure you are being deliberate in designing a life that is

  • Ep 218: Humanely Navigating Long-term Relationships

    28/02/2024 Duração: 52min

    There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening.   This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solutions. They result from being different people with different needs and different styles of communication. The goal then becomes to act humanely as we deal with that fact – including toward ourselves. This episode is about having that goal of doing no harm and also being able to step back from our own programming. Whereas when we are choosing a partner we must be incredibly stringent in our standards, once we have chosen one, we can become accountable enough to challenge ourselves. We can practice acceptance of who the o

  • Ep 217: Creating Meaning in Your Life – Making the Space for Joy

    14/02/2024 Duração: 59min

    So much of our ability to enjoy and live a rich life comes down to our frame: how we interpret the ingredients and recognize “what is.” We also expect a TON from ourselves: We are constantly lamenting what we didn’t do, the thing that we failed at, how we fucked up this or that thing in our life, where we are still falling short. We have a very inhumane set of expectations around what we ask of ourselves: I am talking about overworking, overscheduling, overdemanding. At the cost of…happiness.   A lot of people believe they are supposed to continue to chase and muscle through work all the time. And that work will always come first and SHOULD always come first. Like everything else should be scheduled in between all that striving and it will always come at a much lower priority. Work-first is a cultural norm that many have unconsciously accepted without considering whether or not that supports your truest goals. This is an episode aimed at asking what your authentic hierarchy is and then placing time and emphas

  • Ep 216: Beautiful Humanity – Regrowing a sense of vitality and inspiration

    01/02/2024 Duração: 58min

    If you have a sense of ambivalence or blah–like you’re staring at a white wall, but on an emotional or spiritual level. I wanted to write an episode that reminds us all of our humanity and what that feels like and looks like. This is about regrowing and regenerating our vitality by listening inward and channeling our creative, original voices. Allowing yourself to be “original” and not what everyone else wants you to be. Often we lose sight of who that person is, as we grow into adults and we do all the things we “should” for a very long time.   I think a lot of us either grow numb or we feel a pervasive sense of dread and exhaustion when we move through a routine set of adult functions, day after day. It can start to feel like we just need to be better at swallowing it or medicating it versus tuning in to see what is starving us. I am really talking to my type-A friends out there and also my creative friends out there.   Something I notice is that many of us feel a sense of anxiety over all that we have on o

  • Ep 215: Professional Mojo – Renewing Energy and Motivation When in a Rut

    18/01/2024 Duração: 51min

    This is for anyone who is feeling professionally or creatively stuck, like you have no prospects and like you don’t have anything going for you. It’s also for if you don’t feel mentally or emotionally shiny which adds to a sense of inaction. This episode is mostly tools for kicking off a change in that mental state. Maybe you’ve been laid off and you are feeling the lack of traction/prospects as a reflection of your talents/merits. If that’s true for you, know that a lot of people are looking for work right now and there are lots of weird effects from the pandemic and also the strikes. This is really about creating an energy shift – a way to change your relationship to life and all that’s in it. This is how we can see the same room anew. Doors and windows open all the time based on our energy. So how do we get the ball rolling on all that energy shifting? Especially when we are in a rut. Sending energy and love!! Support this week’s sponsors! Better Help This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online

  • Ep 214: A New Year Fresh Start – Personal Inventory Reflection

    04/01/2024 Duração: 37min

    This is my yearly new year reflection style episode where we take stock and celebrate what we have accomplished in the year prior as well as start this year off on the right foot. In this episode I will ask you to ponder - What would you like to change? What would you like to let go of? And what would you like to invite forth as you move through the year?   As you listen to this episode please take note of where you are energetically and respect that season. I am in a winter state, coming out of sickness. All stages are good and valuable in how they set a stage in our cycle: all supports our greatest form of thriving.   My wish for you this year is that you are more able to enjoy your life and live it authentically. We are so primed to be searching for something: “I need X. I should post about X. What are other people doing? Should I be doing that, too?” We are almost automated by our devices and technology to do so. This ordinary stuff of life is pretty great and wonderful, just as it is. If you can tune int

  • Ep 213: Gratitude + Grounding - Practices for moving through the holidays

    20/12/2023 Duração: 37min

    This episode is my invitation to reset as you move through holiday functions. What does that mean? Not getting sucked into family drama and also keeping your eyes on what’s important: feeling a sense of gratitude and being able to savor all that you have.   Holidays can be heavy for a lot of people. I want to invite you to tune into joy and optimism. As you move through the end of the year, this is an episode with tools for grounding and setting boundaries. It’s also for journaling and recalling what is most important and what is actually a total waste of time.   I’d call this episode a meditation or reflection of sorts in that it’s about resetting how we think about life and what we prioritize. And also just feeling grateful. Never a bad time to do that! Sending so much love! And to check out the book by Rick Rubin, here is a link!   Support this week’s sponsors!   Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at

  • Ep 212: Self-forgiveness – Releasing a regret you are holding onto

    07/12/2023 Duração: 50min

    This is for anyone who is holding onto a regret or pain that affects their identity in the present: something that you do not want to take into the new year. When something is bugging us about the past, we are really just pausing a part of the present and living through a warped memory. Sometimes that is because we feel that this will somehow give us what we deserve, like an unconscious act of penance. And sometimes it’s because we are twitching around this thing– almost like a muscle spasm. When we just can’t seem to face a regret in an objective and open way, we cannot process and release it.   So this is my invitation to release the spasm! Pop that zit! Let’s break open that thing whatever it is and work it out so that we can release it. A lot of the time these things will inform the next steps and that will be a gift. Don’t fear it, welcome it, it actually sets us free. I say that because SOOO many of the things that scare us from the past are actually really old fears that are not current or do not belon

  • Ep 211: Creative Work Refresh – Tapping into your creative voice + letting it flow

    21/11/2023 Duração: 48min

    This is for anyone who is looking to be inspired and get closer to their unconscious goals as an artist and creator. I am trying to move closer to my artist self which has been a beautiful process of reuniting with the child that lives inside. One aspect of that process involves really letting go of what other people think is right and asking instead, “what do I have to say?” Removing the measures that pressure your ego to strive in ways that feel in opposition to who you are. I have some practices in this episode for you that are hopefully going to tune your being toward the best form of your creative projects that are ready to be expressed. I highly recommend you practice a meditation of some sort before you begin any creative work- for me it's incredibly helpful! This episode is aligned with the teachings of The Artist’s Way, Rick Rubin’s new book The Creative Act and Inner Work. Putting links to them because I love them so! Suppor

  • Ep 210: Letting Go of a Small Self - Tools for openness as we enter the holidays

    09/11/2023 Duração: 51min

    This is an episode inviting you to shed one part of an old, wounded self. A chip on your shoulder that exists currently. To start to see yourself as not small, not trivial, but strong and confident. When we get into a more open, loving groove in our lives, we can grow our power. This is an episode for reorienting your energy toward that which expands: Conditioning yourself toward a target, especially as we move toward the end of the year. Together, let’s ask: how do I want to feel and what do I want to bring forth. I think of our actions and intentions as echoes that ripple outwards into our future and also into the world. So let’s begin to filter that as we move through the end of this year: what will I create in my life? What is no longer serving me? This episode has lots of tools for stepping back from feelings of less-than and also bringing out the love you already have inside.   To support this week’s sponsors check out:   Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit

  • Ep 209: A Thriving Design – Building the Life Conditions for Happiness

    25/10/2023 Duração: 45min

    This is about building a mental sense of sanctuary from the outside in and the inside out. This is aimed at moving through your life in a state of trust and openness: teaching yourself out of self-limiting thought loops and responses. One thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the importance of our conditions. They very much co-create our lives in that they create the factors we have bandwidth to respond to. What conditions are you being subjected to in your day-to-day life? How can we become conscious of them and begin to set higher goals in this area? All change in life begins with a goal. Once you set it we are already moving toward it. A life that is conducive to happiness and serenity and success really comes down to curating the ingredients that allow for that to happen. Often what stops that from being possible is small thinking (stopping ourselves from striving) or one negative factor like a bad relationship or an unhealthy work environment. So how can we create a life of happiness, harmony, i

  • Ep 208: Confronting Big Life Changes: Separation, divorce or letting go of an addiction

    11/10/2023 Duração: 56min

    This is for anyone who is wants to confront what could be a major life change like a separation, a divorce, or perhaps letting go of an addiction. This is to enable you to do some processing in your own head – not for confronting another person. I know these are disparate types of changes, but I think they are similar processes – in that we often feel like we cannot possibly do it. We cannot possibly let go of something that has kept us safe in a routine for so long. That has helped us create a sense of control or normalcy. But if you are intrigued by this episode, I am guessing that some part of you wants to explore an answer and to be at least able to fully do that without holding yourself back/hiding. This is about letting go of FEAR as a process of willful blindness and instead taking the stigma out of thinking through all sides of a future decision. The goal: moving through hard shit with love in your heart – for others, and for yourself, and being able to welcome the truth of how you feel. This is how w

  • Ep 207: The Long Game – Healthy Boundaries for Complicated Arrangements

    27/09/2023 Duração: 51min

    This is for issues related to couples or former couples who are bound together by some means – whether that be a business, children, or a living circumstance. OR perhaps you are in a long-term relationship that is no longer healthy or loving that you are choosing to remain in, for a particular reason. This is for navigating from an empowered and compassionate position, negotiating voicing your needs when they might conflict with the needs or wishes of the other. This is for getting to the truth of the experience – seeing what needs boundary work, and also what is outside of your control. A lot of our pain comes from resisting something that simply needs processing/to move through our body. The goal of this episode is to give you a change of perspective so you can act from a place of agency and honesty. Sending love, friends. Take heart…Life is long and complicated, it has many seasons – things will continue to change, so leave room for that. If you like this work, please support our sponsors! Take the drama o

  • Ep 206: Not Falling Into Someone Else – Staying confidently yourself in relationships

    15/09/2023 Duração: 46min

    Relationships are very difficult because we get lost in them: they can overtake our sense of self, especially if that relationship is long term and we don’t have a lot of contact with others outside of the relationship. This is a reminder to come back into your own shoes – if we tip off balance we start to default to what someone else wants or what we think they want us to do. To the other person, this can also feel like we don’t respect ourselves. I use this metaphor often for relationships but they’re like a rubber band is around both people and we have to keep it taught by walking together, but separately. There should be equal and voluntary gift giving/taking, and if that balance has been tipped and things are growing lopsided, the most important thing you need to do is register and react to that truth. This episode has tools for getting back in touch with your sense of self and also tools for setting healthy boundaries, if you are in a situation where the other person is encouraging the enmeshment. Suppo

  • Ep 205: Course Correcting - Taking an inventory of change

    29/08/2023 Duração: 38min

    How we relate to our life and what it contains is always being renegotiated and that is positive and healthy. Sometimes our priorities change or our needs change. Or areas of friction are notifying us that we are ready to change. This episode is about course correcting: looking at areas of feedback or friction in your own life – and also those that arise in relationships. It’s for taking an inventory of any negative trends that perhaps aren’t serving you. Course correction is really another term for intentionality. This is for reorienting your path toward what you want, including things like autonomy and balance. This is related to your relationship with your life, and your relationship with others – so I have some tools around codependency. This is inspired by several letters I’ve gotten where people say they have a problem, that they are a certain way and they end up with a certain result, and how that can feel defeating. And I wanted to address that by saying this is the beginning of change! It’s an invi

  • Ep 204: Over-Giving in Relationships: A Codependency Workshop

    17/08/2023 Duração: 43min

    If you are a caregiver type or your relationship is somewhat uneven, this is an episode aimed at looking inward. It’s for seeing your role in how the imbalance is created. TBC, this is about becoming aware. Not making big moves or changes. Just simple curiosity and awareness. This is an episode that is going to challenge you! There’s this totally unconscious thing that happens as you are revealed next to someone. We start to feel vulnerable and with that, we seek control. This is when we start to do more and give more as a means of feeling more secure. It’s to abate feelings of “less-than.” If you are someone who gets too wrapped up in the thoughts or feelings of others then I think this episode will resonate with you. This also extends to feeling like you need others to act a certain way, or feeling like you are doing it all and the other person in your relationship is not doing enough. In other words, getting stuck in a caregiver role or a role where you are the one who is overactive, and they are the one w

  • Ep 203: A Personal Check-in: Where do I stand + where am I going?

    02/08/2023 Duração: 36min

    This podcast is a reminder to come back to the best of you–the best thoughts, the best energy, the best focus. It’s somewhat a reflection episode: a time to get right with yourself and get tuned. There is nothing wrong or lessor about the life you have chosen – it is important to know and embrace that self. To see your decisions as founded on the past you have lived.   Make your life, your mission and your focus about what is meaningful to you. Do not make it a reaction to others. Know where you stand and where you’re going. Welcome that feedback around what isn’t working, and what is. This will set us free from false missions.   This episode is also to tune your energy if you have gotten into a groove of feeling less-than/exhausted/a victim. Or simply less than grateful. The tools in this episode will also remind you of how to jump what I would call energetic channels. It’s super easy to fall into a groove of feeling a particular way, day after day. To forget glee and optimism. It becomes an addiction of sor

  • Ep 202: Tapping Into Your Dreamer: Big You and Little You

    19/07/2023 Duração: 39min

    This is a motivation-based episode for creative individuals. What is that thing you really, genuinely want but some part of you is halfway trying to let it slip away? It’s that weird thing we do – we decide to forget. It’s related to subconscious fears but also an energy-saving setting that we tend to fall into because we are quite literally exhausted and distracted by external alerts, haptics, notifications and bright interface lights. We basically live with slot machines in our hands. The mental tank is tapped by regular, everyday functioning so the glucose is short. To really start to change our habits in favor of what we deeply want, sometimes we steer our lives by watching our feet walk in a new direction, despite our brain. This is all about what I’m calling The Two You’s – the dreamer and the worrier, and how we can really look at ourselves from outside ourselves in order to make the right decisions and investments in life. Because a lot of what guides us is a sense of habit. Here are the links I menti

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