On The Wetcoast Podcast

Informações:

Sinopse

Welcome to On The Wet Coast, a blog & podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety.We talk polyamory and swinging, monogamish and open relationships; from dirty, dirty sex to heartbreak.We share our personal experiences and philosophy, observations and theories, what works for us...and where we messed it right up.

Episódios

  • OTWC 041: Tristan Taormino and Telling Your Story as Resistance

    OTWC 041: Tristan Taormino and Telling Your Story as Resistance

    29/05/2020 Duração: 01h03min

    Our sex-negative culture pushes us to repress and feel shame about our sexuality or lifestyle. Stepping out of the shadows and telling your story becomes an important act of rebellion. There are risks involved in telling your story. More than just the frowning disapproval of judgy relatives at holiday dinners, living an openly atypical life can lead to risks to employment, housing, medical care, and child custody. This is why it's doubly important that those who can live out loud do since their open existence is a powerful 'fuck you' to the status quo. Our guest today has been openly flipping off the establishment for more than 25 years since beginning the magazine 'Pucker Up' shortly after finishing college. She continues to do so as she works on a memoir telling her story from childhood through to her relationship with her father as he battled AIDS in the early years of the epidemic. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are joined by Tristan Taormino to discuss her upcoming (as

  • OTWC 040: Novelty, Being in the Moment, and Gangbangs - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 040: Novelty, Being in the Moment, and Gangbangs - On The Wet Coast

    29/02/2020 Duração: 53min

    One of the most exciting things about non-monogamy can be the novelty of new adventures and new people in our lives. At the same time, one of the many sources of stress in our world is an excess of choice. How can we make the right decisions with so many options as we try to decide who to date, who to make advance plans with, and/or who to hook up with at play parties or the swinger club? Due to that excess of choice we're often looking over our shoulder to see if there's anything else/better coming along rather than focusing on being where we are and who we're with. The FOMO  - Fear Of Missing Out - can make it that we're not able to be present in the moment and we don't ever truly enjoy the experience we're currently having. We can also get so caught up in comparing what we have with what others have that we never really appreciate the experiences we have and the people we have them with. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are discussing Novelty, Being in the Moment, and Gang

  • OTWC 039: Texting, Sexting, and Messaging - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 039: Texting, Sexting, and Messaging - On The Wet Coast

    30/12/2019 Duração: 01h02min

    There's a certain art to crafting the right kind of message to convey what we're feeling via characters on a screen. Since so much of modern communication is done on said screens it can be a lot of work figuring out your personal style and mode of messaging.  Non-monogamous people spend extra time communicating with multiple partners in multiple forms, from the simple 'good morning' to setting up dates to having sexy chat time to talking about challenging feelings and even breaking up. Without audible tone or nonverbal cues, it can sometimes be hard to convey your thoughts or truly understand what someone else is saying to you via text message so today On The Wet Coast Kat Stark and Flick Morrison are discussing Texting, Sexting, and Messaging. Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and

  • OTWC 038: Accountability and Consent - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 038: Accountability and Consent - On The Wet Coast

    02/11/2019 Duração: 01h11min

    Accountability and Consent can feel like the least fun topics to discuss when it comes to sexy lifestyles but when we really focus on building these factors in a way that lets go of the definitions used by the justice system and focuses on the subjective experiences of the parties, our kink and sexytimes can be much more fun. In an era of social media call-outs, it might feel risky to take part in activities where consent factors strongly, which means quality negotiations and being accountable to the consent rules of others (as well as our own) are more important than ever. Today Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk to Victor Salmon, an educator and host of Intimate Interactions Podcast who has created the VOICES framework for Best Practices of Consent. Victor will help guide us through some of the ways we can make our consent negotiations lead to "high quality" consent so our playtimes can be great for everyone involved. @intimateVictor on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking U

  • OTWC 037: Disappointing Dates - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 037: Disappointing Dates - On The Wet Coast

    30/09/2019 Duração: 01h04min

    It's always a bummer when dates don't go as planned or don't happen at all. There can be all kinds of reasons why things don't turn out as you'd hoped from unrealistic expectations, lack of connection, poor communication, uncooperative bodies, life circumstances, or just plain not being in the mood. Bouncing back from a disappointing date is an important skill in non-monogamous dating. More dates definitely makes for more opportunities for disappointment so we need to get comfortable learning from these experiences and figuring out how to have things go better the next time. I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I will be discussing Disappointing Dates. We'll share some of our own experiences and what we did to get back into the swing of things after some less than ideal experiences. Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slu

  • OTWC 036: Strapping It On - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 036: Strapping It On - On The Wet Coast

    19/08/2019 Duração: 01h03min

    It's no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out. Finding the right equipment, the right harness and dildo combinations can be more challenging than we expect, especially since what is right for one partner or act isn't so right for another. And positioning yourself as the thruster as well as finding the right position for your receiver can be incredibly awkward, especially at first. I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I are discussing Strapping It On. We've got lots of tips and suggestions to help you get up and thrusting and feeling like the sexual rock stars you are. Find out more about the gear we mention (and links to purchase) in this episode on our website - onth

  • OTWC 035: Sexual Confidence - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 035: Sexual Confidence - On The Wet Coast

    29/07/2019 Duração: 01h04min

    We're always told that confidence is sexy, but how do we find the confidence to be our true sexual selves? How do we embrace our bodies and our kinks so we can enjoy the kinds of sex we desire? Finding the confidence in ourselves while living in a society that is all about tearing us down is incredibly challenging. Figuring out how to put ourselves out there as confident sexual beings is a lot more difficult than simply deciding to do so. Learning to get comfortable with awkwardness is one of the keys to sexual confidence, another is knowing that just about everyone else out there feels the same way as you do. Learning to shake off negative body thoughts and embrace the things that you bring to the table can help. Listening to tips from the smartie we're talking to today is another great way to build that confidence.  On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick Morrison discuss sexual confidence with the extremely fabulous Luna Matatas. Find Luna on Twitter, LunaMatatas.com, Youtube, and Etsy Bu

  • OTWC 034: Chosen Family - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 034: Chosen Family - On The Wet Coast

    23/06/2019 Duração: 43min

    Finding your people can be one of the most important things you do as you make your way in the world, and when you find them, it feels like coming home. Feels like family. Many of us have found a group or groups of people we consider to be family. Chosen family as opposed to biological or family of origin can be essential especially for those of us in alternate lifestyles. The people we end up sharing our lives and experiences with can be extensive--not just our partners and close friends, but their partners, our former loves, casual sex friends, and fellow pervs and kinksters can make up our chosen family. They’re the people we can truly be ourselves with, maybe for the first time ever. Much like our families of origin, however, there can be issues within our chosen family. We’re not always going to love the people our people love and may end up spending time with those we wouldn’t choose to on our own. And when relationships end, the devastation and loss can be amplified since we sometimes lose an extended

  • OTWC 033: Get Your Flirt On - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 033: Get Your Flirt On - On The Wet Coast

    12/05/2019 Duração: 57min

    Figuring out how to express our interest in someone can be one of the most challenging things in dating, especially if we find them really attractive, fun, or interesting. What do we say? What if they're not into it? Why is it so hard to express ourselves in a fun, clear, non-creepy way? If what everyone we know reports about themselves is true, no-one is good at flirting. How the hell are any of us hooking up if this is a skill no-one has? On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison are joined by Marcia Baczynski, master of the art of asking for what you want and dedicated flirt who is here to share her humour, wisdom, and creativity in how to navigate the world of flirting. Find Marcia on Twitter @AskMarciaB & website https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com//   The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes.  Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at

  • OTWC 032 - Sex Work Matters - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 032 - Sex Work Matters - On The Wet Coast

    15/04/2019 Duração: 01h08min

    Since the passage of FOSTA/SESTA in the US, sexual content on the internet has been progressively quashed, starting with shutting down places sex workers could advertise but flowing forward until Tumblr was all but shuttered when they were no longer allowed to have sexual content. Various agencies drop the scare words ‘sex trafficking’ and the changes are made under the guise of protecting the vulnerable but has had the opposite effect by forcing many sex workers onto the streets and taking away the resources they used to have to vett and screen clients. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark chat with Carrie Hill, a sex worker activist and professional dominant (among many other things) who is here to talk to us about Why Sex Work Matters and how the rules and restrictions around sex work will affect your life more and more. Find Carrie on Twitter @empoweringsex & their website https://empoweringsexuality.ch/ Dominatrix on Trial: Bedford vs Canada - Terri Jean Bedford - Buy on

  • OTWC 031 - Libido - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 031 - Libido - On The Wet Coast

    17/03/2019 Duração: 01h24min

    Our desire for sexual experiences--both solo and with a partner or partners--fluctuates for countless reasons. Stress, fatigue, hormones, depression, body image, and connectivity are just a few of the things that can affect a person’s libido. Since we live in such a sex negative society talking about negative impacts on libido are considered frivolous since sexuality isn’t considered to be a worthwhile measure of quality of life. It’s also not stressed that we connect and partner with people who share similar libidos to ours since sexual compatibility is a shallow and selfish measure of relationship quality. Today On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk about our Libidos, figuring out how they work, working with others to get on the same page desire-wise (or at least same chapter), managing our relationships when our libidos aren’t where we want them to be, and tips to find a way back to our sexy selves. Get Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are on Amazon The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In

  • OTWC 030 - Building Community - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 030 - Building Community - On The Wet Coast

    11/02/2019 Duração: 55min

    If you're lucky, the place where you're living has a thriving sex -positive community and it takes little effort to find and take part in events such as meet-ups, workshops, and conventions. Most likely, that's not the case and either there isn't much of a community or the community that is there doesn't align with your interests, ethics, or outlook. Sometimes, you've got to step forward and spearhead building that community yourself. It's a bit of a terrifying concept, but it can be done. Today On The Wet Coast, we talk with two people who are doing just that. They've founded the Vancouver Sex Positive Society and are ramping up for the 3rd Annual Converge Con, a conference originated with a desire to build sex positive communities, and start a dialogue around sexuality, relationships, and activism. Find more on Twitter @VancouverSPS and @ConvergeTweets Find the bursary application here The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Au

  • OTWC 029 - Consent - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 029 - Consent - On The Wet Coast

    13/01/2019 Duração: 45min

    Consent is a topic that has been an essential part of the non-monogamy experience, though not everyone is great at asking for or respecting it, and some feel like we talk about enthusiastic consent too much. In monogamous dating, it has only recently become a more nuanced discussion than the No Means No message that most of us were taught. After all, talking about our wants and boundaries would kill the mood and ruin the magic flow that is supposed to happen in love scenes. With the explosion of the MeToo movement that began with Tarana Burke in 2006 and hit the popular media in 2017, consent is being discussed more widely than ever before. What is consent? How do we effectively set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others? Can consent ever be Sexy, as some people propose? On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and I are joined by Erin Tillman, author of the Consent Guidebook: A Practical Approach to Consensual, Respectful, and Enthusiastic Interactions, to talk about, you guessed it, Consent. Find

  • OTWC 028 - Have You Met Flick? - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 028 - Have You Met Flick? - On The Wet Coast

    14/12/2018 Duração: 46min

    We're doing something a little different on this episode. Many of you know a whole lot about Kat Stark thanks to their blog posts and book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut. Their co-host, co-conspirator, and true love is more of a mystery since he doesn't blurt his shit all over the internet the same way Kat does. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, you get a chance to peek behind the curtain and learn more about self-described Super Villain, Gamer, geek, and resident know-it-all Flick Morrison. Sit back and enjoy while Kat makes him uncomfortable with a ton of personal questions. Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more  Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swing

  • OTWC 027: Jealousy Revisited - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 027: Jealousy Revisited - On The Wet Coast

    19/11/2018 Duração: 01h21min

    Jealousy is a complex emotion that usually arises when we feel threatened or like we're not getting our needs met. It is almost always the reason people cite when they state that they couldn't ever be non-monogamous yet plenty of non-monogamous and polyamorous people experience jealousy regularly. The various circumstances that lead to jealousy tend to shift the longer people have lived in open relationships. From sexual jealousy to that over deepening intimacy or relationship milestones. Sometimes it is even very person-specific, cropping up only with regards to one partner, or only one of their partners. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark revisit Jealousy with regards to compersion, metamours, NRE, relationship milestones, and why rules can't solve jealousy. Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, an

  • OTWC 026: Sex, Geeks, and Sexy Geekery - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 026: Sex, Geeks, and Sexy Geekery - On The Wet Coast

    05/10/2018 Duração: 01h04min

    Geekery & non-monogamy crossover in so many ways. So many of the people we've met, connected with, and sexed up have been fellow geeks that enjoy much of the same pop culture that we do, whether it's movies, tv shows, books, musical theatre, roleplaying games, or video games. You need to have something to talk about when the sexin's done, after all. Despite the chic that many geeky pastimes now enjoy, it wasn't always the case. Those of us who spent our youth with interests outside the norm of sportsball and Top 40 tunes have always tended to seek others who are similar. Turns out, the outsiders also tend to find their way into kink and non-monogamous realms. Joining Flick Morrison and Kat Stark On The Wet Coast is Kevin Patterson. Kevin is the creator of the Poly Role Models project, author of “Love's Not Color Blind”, and self-professed geek, and here to talk Sex, Geeks, and Sexy Geekery. Follow Kevin on Twitter: @polyrolemodels Mentioned in episode: Prepare To Meet Thy Doom - David Kushner Buy Kat's bo

  • OTWC 025: Kinky Communication - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 025: Kinky Communication - On The Wet Coast

    07/09/2018 Duração: 50min

    Sex, particularly kinky sex, is still a taboo subject in our sex negative culture. We're not supposed to talk about it so we don't learn good communication skills around it. It's one of those things that is supposed to just kinda happen. We hang onto a lot of the messages we got about sex growing up and even those of us who consider ourselves very open about our sexuality still retain many of the hangups and shame feelings. Learning to talk about what we want in the bedroom from the most vanilla of acts (vanilla is a delicious flavour, by the way) to the most deliciously deviant kinky acts we can think of can benefit us in many unexpected ways. When we learn to ask for what we want, we sometimes even get it. On this episode of On The Wet Coast Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are joined by Stella Harris (@stellaerotica), intimacy educator and sex coach, author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. Buy on Amazon   Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions

  • OTWC 024: More/Better Sex - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 024: More/Better Sex - On The Wet Coast

    11/08/2018 Duração: 51min

    Click-baity title aside, many people would like to figure out how to get more sex and better sex in their lives. It's not a priority for everyone, and isn't required to be, but for those who are looking to get more sex in their lives, it can be a struggle. We're here to tell you it doesn't have to be. Reinterpreting what sex is can be a big and helpful start down the path to more sex. As well, reinterpreting what you're looking for in a sexual encounter can help you figure out how to get your needs met beyond any specific set of acts. It isn't always 'insert tab A in slot B' that we want from sex (though sometimes it is and that is also legitimate). Sometimes what we want is a sense of connection or physical intimacy that can be met in more ways than we think. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark discuss How to Have More (and Better) Sex. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoast

  • OTWC 023: Dating During Upheaval - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 023: Dating During Upheaval - On The Wet Coast

    07/07/2018 Duração: 54min

    Ideally, when we’re meeting, dating, and sexing on people we want to be our best selves. We want to be feeling stable and settled and able to be present and focused for all the newness that might be coming our way. Unfortunately, circumstances are almost never ideal. Life constantly hits us with the unexpected--job loss, divorce, moving house, issues with kids, health issues, mental health issues, breakups--the list goes on and on. Much of the time we need to figure out how to compartmentalize our other life issues so that we can open our hearts to new people and new experiences. That is way easier said than done, and not really that easy to say. In non-monogamy, we often have concurrent partners and heartbreak and it can be really tough to figure out how to grieve a relationship while maintaining or building another. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat are joined by Dirty Lola of Sex Ed A Go Go to discuss Dating During Upheaval. We’ll try to figure out how to maintain your mojo while your life

  • OTWC 022: Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk - On The Wet Coast

    OTWC 022: Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk - On The Wet Coast

    10/06/2018 Duração: 59min

    Nearly everyone we know claims to be bad at flirting, the two of us included, but somehow many of us are scoring dates and getting laid. How do we get over our own brains to send that first message or turn a chat into something sexy and sassy? And once we're in a sexy space, how do we wrap our heads around talking dirty. There's an art to knowing when to push a conversation to a sexy place or leave an opening for someone else to do so and when to leave it respectfully platonic. And as it turns out, talking dirty can be a lot easier than you think. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat, plus special guests Wes and Raina, discuss the whens, wheres, and hows of Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk. *Please note that our Dirty Talk episode also contains some dirty audio. There's some audio distortion that crops up during episode that we were able to reduce but not fully remove. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthew

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